He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
