the condom got lost in my hair
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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