He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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