THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
