you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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