To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize