You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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