id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
