yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize