dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize