Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize