bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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