did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
