I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
