If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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