Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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