well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
