yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize