nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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