I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
