i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize