Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
