it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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