if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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