are you so shy because you have an std?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
