When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
