What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
