You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I deserve this hangover.
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