yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
