I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize