Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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