Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you win again, gameday.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
