I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
