I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
