just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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