...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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