i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
