Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
