1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
