just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
