Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
