im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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