What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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