Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
