i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
