ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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