Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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