He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
