I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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