FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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