SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
