I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
