So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
