I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize