David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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