i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
