bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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