It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
