Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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