She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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