The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
