Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His hands were made for my vagina.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
