literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
